Sunday, October 07, 2007

We had communion today and it made me question myself and where I am with God. I've been a little embarrassed at how I have been doing lately, spiritually . To be quite honest, it has been a long time since I have had good quality time with God. When I do my bible reading, I find that I read it for the purpose of knowing what it says rather than trying to understand what God is saying to me. My prayer time is often time short and on most days, I am too distracted by other things to remember. I've felt guilty about my spiritual droop and that caused me to avoid thinking about it altogether. I realized that I been hiding behind my Christian facade for too long, and no one really knows about my spiritual struggles. I often struggle with whether Christ is real to me or not. When I think about it, I am not sure I feel the extent of Christ's sacrifice. Shouldn't I be a changed creature? Why am I still scared of people rather than speaking out for God? How do I contribute to God's Kingdom? I feel like I fall so short. I am so ashamed because I am so weak. How do I continue to fight this battle when I feel like I have already lost?

1 comment:

Shannon said...

Hey Samantha, trust and believe that you aren’t the only one who’s going through this because I am too. I’ve noticed a change in my spiritual walk with Christ. There’s so much that I have been through in my walk with Christ, so much good, and even at times, bad. I just don’t think I will be able to sit here and type it all, lol…you can check out my blog at

Be encouraged though, don’t give up…whatever you are feeling, in whatever you are going through, take it all to God in prayer. The bible says “Cast your concerns upon Him, because he cares for you” (1Peter 5:7) the bible also says “In everything we have won more than a victory because of Christ who loves us (rom. 8:37)
No matter what you are going through, Christ is the one who strengthens us, and gives us the victory over our battles in life. Feel free to contact me anytime. Until then, May the love, comfort, peace, and joy of God fill your heart and life in Jesus name. Love u!