I've beening struggling a lot with myself lately. I struggle with myself as a Christian because of the numerous time I failed to live up to God's standards. I feel how taxing it is to keep striving for the goal of holiness and Christ likeness. For the first time in my life as a Christian, I feel like I want to give up following God because I am just too lazy and too weak. Sometimes, I wonder what it's like not being a Christian. As Christians we have an understanding of what is right and wrong and no matter what we do we cannot hide. In the secular world people can claim ignorance or become desensitize to sin, but in the holy world every hint of our immorality is illuminated. As Christians, we were taught not only what not to do but not doing what we are suppose to is also sin. Our mind are constantly trying to justify itself over and over again to make sure we don't deviate from God's law. Loving people is hard. Loving ourselves despite the fact that we are imperfect is even harder. If God weren't real, I honestly wouldn't follow him. If there were no consequences to sin, I wouldn't strive for the goal to be holy. In a way, I didn't choose Christianity, God choose me.
I am frustrated with time. Sometimes i regret not using my time wisely. Sometimes I am frustrated that times goes by so slow.
Underneath it all, I will be ok.
Sunday, November 02, 2003
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment