So I really want to talk about my relationship with Ben tonight. Sorry Ben, I hope you don't mind me telling our little story. I know I am treading on dangerous grounds but oh well...what do I have to hide? It's been almost 4 months for us now, although it felt longer than that because the process began with a friendship 2.5 years ago. Ever since the ski trip, Ben has always been one of those people that I liked and respected but never gotten a chance to know. To be honest, I was not too aware of who Ben was as much as his awareness of me (in a platonic way of course) My most vivid memory of him was when we played tennis together. I told him not to go easy on me because, being a tennis player myself, I could definately tell he was not trying hard. All I really knew of Ben was that he loves ultimate frisbee, and ice cream, and he always walk girls home at night. I also knew he is very protective of his sister and don't like to study too much. For a while, our friendship kinda drifted as we each got to know other people more. During the semester of my junior year, I came back to start nursing school. I was really excited because I got in despite all my anxiety and fear. I was so glad to get in that I forgot how hard professional school would be. Nursing was extremely stressful and I had no faith in myself and God. In the end, I lost so much confidence that my heart was not there. Needless to say, I failed and have to start over again. This blow was too much for me to bear. At the same time, I became pretty depressed after many problems in the friendship department. For some reason, this was the time God sent Ben to me. From the time I was very broken till now, Ben was always there to pray for me, to listen to me, and to encourage me to grow in faith. Our friendship really deepened during the semester as we spent numerous nights talking about relationships and spirituality. He helped me to learn more about God's character and encouraged me to search deeper into his words. To this day, I am still amaze at the way God opened up our eyes for each other...things we never knew was there before. For example, me and Ben have a tremendous love for learning, books, discussions, and spiritual growth. As we talked about our goals and dreams, I realized that his is very similar to mine. After some time of prayers and waiting, we decided to start a courting relationship. Ben and I have numerious talks from politics, nursing, spirituality, and our future. At first, I was anxious because I was too scared to move on to deeper, more serious things and I got scared. I didn't know if there was such a thing as getting to know each other too fast. I got scared because I thought there was a time table I have to follow in order to meet the criteria for a healthy relationship. God gave me the answer to my anxiety soon after. I went to Genesis on valentine's day weekend. Ben drove from D.C to surprise me on v-day. He came to the retreat as well. I took the sex and intimacy track and they talked about how to build a Godly relationship. It definately helped me to settle down my anxiety. The basic structure of a Godly relationship is like a pyramid. The bottom of the pyramid, which gives a relationship a firm foundation, consist of God. When a couple has a firm foundation, they can take the next step to see whether or not they are right for each other. This requires learning about each other from the most common things to sharing one another's life's dreams and goals. The couple should also build one another up in Christ. That means spiritually, the relationship should not make each other stumble but to help make the other person stronger in faith and bear fruit. The couple should do readings together, pray together, and set spiritual boundaries. So far, it has been a good journey. I am happy that I can rely on Ben to be a strong leader in this relationship. We complement each other well in areas that are weaknesses. I feel very good that I do know Ben very well and we do want to seek something more than a dating relationship. In all this, I just want to encourage those who are in a relationship now to not afraid to seek and find answers. Don't wait till the alter before you realize you don't know who you are going to marry. Oh one more thing, for those who wants to know, I don't feel like there is a cultural barrier in our relationship. To be a Christian is another culture of it's own. The most important thing is for Ben and I to be extremely compatable in this way. It's late, I am tired. If you like to talk, call me.