Tuesday, May 27, 2008

This blog post took me four times to write. After becoming a mother, I didn't realize that I would develop brain farts that keeps me from forming coherent thoughts. After staying with us for a month, my mom is now back in Michigan, leaving the three to us to figure out our life together as a family. In just three weeks time I learned so much about my little man and being a mother. I finally understood why mothers know their babies so well; the constant feeding, the diaper changes, the crying sessions, it seems like the cycle never ends. Overall, we are doing really well. The late night feedings are hard but Isaiah drinks pretty fast and he is often very content after his feeding and diaper changes. This week, I have decided to let him cry a little before picking him up at night. Let me tell you this is an excruciating tasks. Isaiah's cries are often long, drawn out, and very loud. It seems like he wouldn't need to take a breather in between cries and he can go on for quite a while. It almost breaks my heart to see little tears welling from his eyes. I hold him all the time and I swear he is changing every minute. I already wish he would stay this little for a bit longer. This week, he must be going through a growth spurt because he wants to eat every one and a half hour. I know he isn't snacking because he would empty both breasts and would want more. Needless to say, feeding him has become a daunting tasks. Isaiah and I are working toward some sort of schedule. Being so young himself, he has a really hard time staying awake after feeding. After feeling really discouraged about not having any sort of routine, I called a friend and she encouraged me to give it time. She said that a schedule is something to work toward but it will take time. After talking to her, I feel much better about my perceived failure. It's funny all the different emotions you feel when you become a mother. I find that I have to keep myself from thinking how others perceive me. When my baby cries, I constantly have to fight the urge to explain to others why he is cranky. Today, I took Isaiah shopping and he woke up hungry at the store. I didn't know what to do so I pushed my cart aside and took him to my car to feed him. The heat was hot outside so I brought Isaiah into the store and fed him as I push the cart around. I felt as though others are saying, "Girl, you care more about your shopping than feeding your kid". I now understand why new moms stay at home.

We love Isaiah so much. He is a tough little guy and is generally pretty patient with his mom for trying many things on him. Honestly, there are times when I wonder why he hasn't gotten sick yet. By God's grace, we are getting through and enjoying every moment with him.


Anne said...

Hey, glad you are doing well!! Keep up the feeding, sounds like you are doing well, don't worry about what others say and think...people have no tack these days!! As for feeding in public, some stores now have a feeding lounge for new moms. Try asking the clerk if they have one or at least a chair for you. Thanks for the update:)

Alicia said...

i know what you mean about starting something and not finishing... sometimes it takes me days to get a really simple blog post up :)

Jennifer said...

I agree with Anne on what others think. The feeding in public was a bigger deal for me the first time around, but there are places to go or even sitting in the middle of the mall with your cover and no one really even notices. :-) Glad your both doing well!