Thursday, March 22, 2007

There is just something weird about meeting new people and starting new relationships. Once again I feel a sense of uncertainty as I seek to know people in a new place at a new time. Yesterday we became members at 3rd Avenue Baptist Church. I am thrilled to be part of this wonderful church. The people are loving and have a mature faith, they are all my around my age, and they can teach me a lot about being a better woman of God. On the car ride home, instead of feeling ecstatic, I was feeling lonely. I don't know why, maybe it's the sense that I have to build something new again; maybe it's because I feel uncertain of my place here, uncertain of my own personality and idiosyncrasies, of knowing my roles at this church. Back at my former church, things were comfortable, I knew people and they knew me. The thing is, I know relationships come with time. I know that I have to give of myself if I want to build intimacy with other people; still, building trust can be hard. It can bring up all the insecurities you have about yourself and your past. I miss my college buddies. I miss having people that truly knows us.

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