The hardest part about my life is my family. I worry about them all the time. My dad is out of the job for the third time this year. The reason is, he gets frustrated with his boss and he quits. I get sadden by the fact that his life is meaningless. There is nothing he cares about and nothing that is worthwhile in his life. Besides his family he has nothing that amounts to something. Even so, things are different now with Alan and I moving away. I pray for his salvation all the time. The urgency increases as each year goes by, I worry about his health, his friends, and his happiness. I worry about my mom who has to take the burden of carrying our family through tough times. She deserves so much more then this. It is just not fair. My life is good, my husband takes care of me, I want that for my mom too. She deserves so much more than what she's been given with. My heart breaks for them all the time.

I know it is God testing my faith. He wants to see that I trust that he knows best. Still I wonder why my family. I feel a lot of guilt about not being a good daughter. I have to move away someday and I will not be able to see them often. I wish there is something I can do to take care of my parents. I get really mad at myself for not being able to do that. I don't have to have much for myself but I just want my family to do well, is that too much to ask?