My mother in law is dying of cancer. We may not see to have Christmas with her this year. A deep sadness reside in me and my family. At the same time, I cannot tell you what it means to have God's strength at this time. The illness is a test of our faithfulness to him. As we watch my mother in law get eaten away by her own body, God teaches us to surrender all to him. I never thought I could face up to death until now. God has been beside me, teaching me that this is all within his plans. Diseases and illnesses are the ugly things in life. God is trying to show us that he is even more important than these.

I still pray for a miracle even though all hope is basically gone. The question is not whether God can perform miracles, the question is, will he? When I pray this prayer I always think of Hezikiah when he prays to God for more life. I thought if God can answer his prayer, who knows, maybe he can answer mine.

No one is really in denial as to what is happening in the family. In fact, the way we deal with this is to address the past, present, and the future. My mother in law shared a testimony praying that God will show us how to live after she pass away. To me, that is wisdom. Her life has been a great testimony to mine and many others. She was a great many things in life. She was a loving mother who taught her children how to revere God. She was a teacher of wisdom and a healer to those that are lost. She was a crusader and a faithful servant to those who know her life story. She never held an occupation yet no one can say she is unimportant. Her mission in life is on greater and more important things, things she can bring with her to heaven.