As you can see, I changed my template again. I didn't really like the other one. For some reason, I have never gotten used to it. It's just not my style. Besides, as much as I want to get into the whole cutsie sanrio stuff...i just can't. There is a limit as to how much I can take. Same with boy bands and comics etc... (nothing's wrong with them girls and...um some guys). The thing I am really sad about is that I have lost all my comments, especially Ben's. Maybe you can repeat what you said again as a reminder to me Ben. I have been blogging pretty frequently recently. Maybe blogging, for me, is a source of comfort that allows me to be who I am without offending anyone or emotionally drain my friends. I have been told, by my friends that when I am happy, I will light up the world with my giggles and smiles... but when I am sad, it's pretty depressing. I don't know why I am like that for once. Sewa told me once that she was worried about me because it scares her to know that I am so unhappy. Ever since she told me this, I have taken notice of what she meant. Yea, I had my share of down times but i thought it has left me ever since God gave us the strength and the courage to live on. Maybe certain things will never leave me. Maybe what has happened in the past will always cast a shadow in the dark. I don't want to take on the identity as a broken and wounded person. I want to be free but it doesn't come easy. It is a still a constant struggle for me. I just have to keep reminding myself that Christ has given me the option to let go. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation. 2 corinthians 5:17. Yea, I feel like there are constant internal struggles in my life but, ultimately, my end goal is to live and please God. There is nothing more I can offer.

To a friend, I know that I haven't been able to offer you much of my friendship lately...in fact, it pains me that I am such a terrible friend. The only thing I can offer you is my prayers, which I find to be more helpful than anything I could ever do for you. I may not be the source of which you turn to in times of trouble but just know that you have a friend in me because I understand.